You Want Me To Put My Mouth Where?

There is nothing more fun to do on a Saturday morning than to kneel on a nasty gym mat in a high school at 8 am and perform CPR on an alien-looking dummy to the sounds of mild grunting from your classmated as they too pound the crap out of this half-bodied form. Well, perhaps sleeping would be more enjoyable. Or grocery shopping with a hyperactie toddler. But my certification had expired and I do need to have these skills, so I pulled my sorry self out of bed on a beautiful Saturday morning and sat in a high school classroom that brough back creepy half-memories (my high school was more modern, and just looked a little less dingy somehow). So my dummy had the nerve to lose his arms, legs, and mot of his torso but still want CPR performed on him. I had no problem crushing his chest with enough force to snap ribs, but staring at his alien silver face with odd orb eyes and a gaping hole of a mouth I knew that there was not a chance on earth my mouth was touching that creature. There is not enough alcohol in the world to make him clean enough, especially knowing that multiple high school students have potentially been "kissing" him and depositing their germs onto him. And kids are not generally very good at cleaning things - look at their bedrooms or lockers. And with this high school having had confirmed cases of MRSA, and me having mouth sores and a compromised immune system that sealed the deal. Luckily I had contacted the teacher before hand and notified her that I wanted to take the class, but becaue of immune system issues I was not going to put my mouth on anything. In the past I have taken multiple CPR classes and not had to do the breathing component (or for one class I had been given a mouth barrier). She was fine with that and so instead of doing breaths I just properly positioned the head and leaned down. I'm sorry but I don't put my mouth on things that get around more than an heiress in Hollywood. Lets just hope if I really need to do CPR I remember to do the breaths and not just lean down and pretend!