Stone Soup for the Teacher's Soul

Imagine having nine three year olds wiggling in their little plastic chairs in front of you after you have cajoled and herded them over to the "magic carpet" (oh if only that darn carpet were magic). Explain to them that which we call a Pilgrim. As you ponder that one has just tipped his plastic chair over while two others are poking each other in a contest that is guaranteed to end up with tears and a faint echo of "you'll poke your eye out with that thing!". Too hard? Try explaining what a turkey has to do with Thanksgiving without converting them to vegetarianism. Oops, you just lost one and he is now rounding the table and headed for the sink where the water is dripping so temptingly. Yes, this is why I refuse to teach Thanksgiving. Instead I teach what I consider the critical concepts behind the entire holiday, leaving the historical confusion and political dilemmas out - sharing and working together. Besides, any time I can get in a lesson on sharing that does not involve separating two children clinging esperately to opposing sides of a toy is a bonus. So we read the book Stone Soup and then make our own Stone Soup by working together and sharing what we each have. On the day before Thanksgiving break we then have a feast where we eat our soup (or dump it on the floor depending on your preferred method of consumption), share different foods to try, and celebrate working together. Last year this was a disaster because our soup caught fire and so we had Campbells' Vegetable Soup to share. This year was precious. Each child worked hard to cut up vegetables, with assistance and the dullest plastic knives manufactured and tested repeatedly on my own flesh. Then I cooked them up into a turkey soup, a miracle of miracles considering I have never made soup before that did not start and end with the can opener. For our feast they worked together to decorate table cloths and to set the table with our little plastic dishes. I am saving the fine china for the day when it snows in Death Valley. Then they shared a feast of their soup (which they actually ate - well, one ate by osmosis through their clothing), chalah bread, strawberries, apples, and juice. No one ran around the table, no one dumped their drinks (and drinks in open cups!!),no one borrowed from someone else's plate, no one crawled onto the floor to reclaim that dropped bite, and no one poked-hit-kicked-argued-yelled-slapped-bit-spit-scratched-punched-hit-with-a-utensil their neighbor. I may have cursed their families for Thanksgiving by having them behave so perfectly during our test run! Oops!! They were proud of their soup and really seemed to understand sharing. Now by Monday sharing will have vanshed like that last piece of Pumpkin Pie and we will be back to ripping the limbs off of Elmo before we let a friend have a turn, but at that moment all was peaceful in our little world. Best of all, everyone at that table was equal. Everyone had contributed in their way and everyone was recognized for their contribution - everyone was an equal member of our class. At least with three year olds it really seems like you can quickly create a community where differences disappear and children are just children. They understand that some children use words to communicate, some use sign language, some use pictures, and some use their bodies and hearts. They don't question that some children walk and other's use really cool wheels; some children have mastered the big potty and some need more time; some children can build masterpieces out of Legos and other children play with cool toys connected to switches. They just see their friends, other cool kids who like the movie Cars and strawberry ice cream and to swing up into the sky and to laugh until they fall down and to listen to the same silly songs. If a friend needs help they provide it without me asking them - they help push a friend's wheel chair or hold on to it as they walk alongside just as they hold hands and walk with other friends, they run over to offer comfort when someone is upset, they help their friends to follow directions, they make sure everyone has a toy. So will they remain this way if we never teach them prejudice? For now I will treasure my sweet Stone Soup making, sharing, unjudging, wise little ones. For them I am truly thankful.

Hazmat Suit Optional

Children defy laws of nature. They can boune when every law of gravity states they should shatter into a million pieces, or at least crack a bone or two. They can eat an entire bowl of spaghetti and not get an single drop of sauce inside of their mouth. They can clear a classroom of every toy on every shelf in under three minutes when both teachers are taking care of critical situations and then look innocent when you arrive on the scene. Then there are the great diaper mysteries that I will never understand, the ones that defy all comprehension. How does a child soak through their clothing while the diaper remains just lightly damp? Why do parents put a child in pull-ups who is no closer to potty training than I am to winning the lottery, especially considering I never buy a ticket? And how can a child be completely clean when checked and ten minutes, TEN MINUTES, later be covered up to their armpits and down into their shoes? That is not natural. That is not covered by any laws or rules of how things work in this world, therefore making that steaming mess of stink an alien life form. In brief summary - 6 pairs of gloves, one complete box of diaper wipes, one complete change of clothing incuding socks and shoes, 25 minutes, and 1/2 a can of air freshner to create the new aroma of oozing alien life form and floral boquet. We need an emergency shower in the corner of our classroom for times like this so I can save the time and absolute futilty of diaper wipes and just hold the child under running water for a few minutes until skin begins to appear again. Diaper wipes are man-made and thus have no power over alien life forms that erupt into a diaper and then over the entire body. It was a battle, a war really, to reclaim the child from the alien slime but in the end I was victorious. I was also creative and stuffed said child into two pull-ups before putting nice clean clothes back over the bottom from which said alien slime originated. If one layer of protection failed, we need a double barrier!! Then I scrubbed, scrubbed, scrubbed my hands and tied up the nice little present of alien encrusted clothing to send home to mommy to be washed or thrown away. Sometimes being the teacher beats being the mommy!

Inclusion Works

Inclusion works and is a benefit for every preschool child. I am not convinced that it should only be offered to the children who are considered highest functioning because they are the children that will benefit from it and I am not going to change my mind any time in the forseeable future. Yesterday was total chaos as we tried to get nine little ones into coats, hats, gloves, and backpacks. I'm sorry but I am a Yankee. It was in the mid-upper 40s - why were the kids wearing winter coats and hats and gloves anyway??? Good grief, it is going to be a long winter!! Being a friday, they were staging a miniature revolt and I am convinced that I put the same coat on the same child at least three different times because houdini kept slipping back out of it when I turned to put a coat on another child. Oh the fun of wrangling preschoolers! So my little blue eyed boy was sitting ever so patiently in his chair watching this theatrical production. When I finally had wrestled most of the masses into coats I dashed over to wriggle him into his and discovered that one of my "inclusion peers" had lovingly placed a toy on his lap and helped him play with it. His peer thought it was no big deal and gave me a funny look when I asked him if he gave him the toy and thanked him for it (the "you adults are so weird" look). I wanted to jump up and down, laugh, hug both little ones, and yell "Yes!". My class is not one that would normally have any inclusion peers in it and the only reason there are any is because I really believe in inclusion for all children. I believe with all of my heart that every child can benefit from being in a setting that has children of all ablity levels - every child, whether or not the have special needs, benefits from the experience. In this instance, my little one who is my inclusion peer demonstrated an incredible level of compassion and understading of differences. He not only is "tolerant" of different ability levels but he is acceptant of them and appreciative of the fact that everyone in our room is a kid who may not be able to do all of the same things he can do right now but still likes a lot of the same things he does and loves to play just like he does. My little blue eyed boy had the experience of a child recognizing that he was probably bored sitting there as we adults ran around like crazy, finding a toy for him, and helpign him to play - in other words he played with a friend without any adults setting it up. Awesome beyond words! And me - I was reminded that even when other people might tell me I am crazy for adding more children to my classroom when it is not required and for doing more work than is necessary that it is absolutely, positively, without any doubt worth it!! I love the fact that in my classroom we are creating an environment where my little ones are not children with special needs and children who are typically developing - we are just children, a class of amazing and wonderful children. Lets leave the labels at the door.

Stars

Normally herding ten three year olds from one activity to another is about as much fun as trying to herd cats. A common situation is as follows. I announce it is time to clean up the toys on the table and go to circle time. Apparently those are fightin' words because chaos insues. Several children due remain at the table and assist in the cleaning process - major points to my sweet cleaners. One child promptly flees the area and finds something to hide under - generally the soft couch in the book corner. Another child watches the first child flee and hide and then decides it would be great fun to join him. Child number three wanders around the room, occasionally dumping a few odd toys on the floor. Child number four just starts to wander around the room. Children five and six rely upon us adults to assist them in getting to circle time, so they wait patiently for us to help them transition to the carpet. Children seven, eight, and nine generally do an excellent job of cleaning and then independently finding their chair on the carpet. Child ten will go sit in his chair at circle time but needs you to remind him several times along the way otherwise the lure of the toys he must pass is just...too..strong. Now that I write it out, herding cats is sounding easier. We are making steady improvements though, and the whole process only takes about 5 minutes now instead of the 10+ minute process this was at the beginning of the school year. I will not admit how many times I count to 3 in a day though (i.e. Do you need my help or can you do it yourself? 1, 2, 3. Okay, I will help you do it.). So on Thursday my assistant squashed her foot under the wheelchair lift of a schoolbus and so she needed to be out of the room for a while. I was faced with the above ritual without reinforcements or backup. Oh crap!! However it went nothing like the above play-by-play. Children one through three assisted in cleaning up and then promptly went and sat in their chairs at circle time. Children seven through ten helped clean and actually carried the containers of toys to the shelves to put them away before sitting in their chairs at circle time. Children five and six waited patiently until I assisted them to their chairs and setled into their chairs at circle time without protest. Child number four, who has never responded to our classroom routine without numerous prompts, walked over to the group at circle time and stood in front of a chair!! Yes, I have the world's best children!! They are amazing, wonderful, awesome little ones who knew that I desperately needed them to pull out their best of the best behavior because I had the odds so stacked against me. Just to continue to show off they sat at circle time without complaint and participated to the top of their performance for 20 minutes!!! WOW! After 20 minutes a relief pitcher came and we left circle time to make really cool scarecrows. I don't mind the little behavior stuff (although the running away when I make a request is getting some serious intervention) as long as I know that they can pull out the best behavior when I really need them to do so. It would be unreasonable to expect near-perfect behavior from three year olds on a daily basis - and it would be a little freaky too! I was amazed, thankful, and impressed but most of all so incredibly proud of my little ones. They are Stars!

What Have I Done?

I have officially jumped off of the bridge of sanity and am falling head first into the abyss of the insane. Wednesday is Halloween, perhaps one of the most enjoyable not-really-a-holiday-holidays to celebrate with preschoolers. Nothing is cuter than three year olds dressed up in costumes and filled from toes to eye brows with excitement about the fact that, while they may not understand what on earth this is about, they know something fun is going to happen. However, nothing is more stressful than a classroom full of parents expecting you to not only show off your wonderful abilities as a teacher but to entertain them and their children for an hour with creative and enthralling activities. And what did I do for Halloween? I invited the parents of all 10 of my little ones to an hour long party! Oh what have I done! They are expecting crafts, games, activities, entertainment, fun and a demonstration of the wonderful world of preschool. Is it too late to hire a substitute? Anybody instersted? Don't all come running at once! So far I have suckered...um, convinced...um, my very nice friend and the parent of one of my little ones has volunteered (okay, so I asked politely but offerd plenty of opportunities for her to say no) to do face painting for the kids. We also have treats to decorate with frosting and Holloween candies/sprinkles. I plan on setting up our ball pit with its four bags of balls which means a lot of work (cleaning all of the balls before and afterwards - dratted MRSA infection marching through our district) but should be entertaining and I can set my assistant up to play referee to limit the injuries. If I am desperate I can set the swing up - but only BEFORE we eat our endless sweets that parents are providing (I am so not catching any vomit on Halloween - that's what the parents are there for!). I have some games we can play for prizes - toddler basketball, bowling for ghosts (pop cans covered with white tissue paper). That sounds like a party to me. Besides, they are three years old. I think a few balloons and the ball pit would be enough to entertain them. As for the parents - they are always welcome but in large numbers I still get nervous like I have to put on a song and dance or something. Maybe that will go away as I teach more years...or I will learn to sing and dance. :) And performing while in costume - bonus! Yes, I will be the dork dressed as Raggedy Ann! Try finding a costume that is preschool appropriate, not scary, not trampy, readily washable, and that will not become indecent while doing preschool acrobatics (i.e. chasing a child down the hall, helping a child on the playground, circle time). Its even harder when anything with a wig, mask, or face paint is scary as is anything too "not normal" (i.e. the teacher dressed as a cow is going to scare the crap out of my kids - should be fun!). I really enjoy having parents come in the classroom, and I enjoy our parties, but it stresses me out so much beforehand. Especially this year when I have taken on extra students, when my assistant leaves (a lot) to be desired, and I still feel like I am chasing myself in circles. I think it will be lots of fun, but right now I am wondering what on earth have I done????

Running of the Preschoolers

Forty days and forty nights has never seemed like quite such a torturous sentence until now. It has rained non-stop for most of this week which means that at school we have been inside almost all week. Three year olds are not generally happy with the notion of being confined, especially when there is an attractive playground visible from the classroom windows that beckons to them regardless of the sheets of rain pelting the windows relentlessly. So after days of entertaining them with other options - extra play time, bubbles, balls, and I can only imagine what the substitutes used yesterday (that was not covered in my lesson plans)- I finally relented to riding our tricycles in the hallway. This seems harmless as the hallway is a giant circle with only two points of escape (one door to the outside and one entrance point to the main hallway) but there are several classrooms along the hallway that are not selfcontained classrooms for children with special needs. And three year olds riding tricycles do not understand the concept of an indoor voice. Trust me on that one. We can keep our indoor voices up until the point that our feet hit the pedals and then it explodes no matter how hard we try. Also, our ability to steer is not fully developed and so we might occasionally ride into a classroom door or wall at full speed. I am quite sure that the other teachers just love me! It is a redeeming quality that we are rather cute and it is hard to resist a three year old on a tricycle laughing and waving (as they just miss the wall). So today we braved the tricycles and I am forever thankful there was no video camera available. The running of the preschoolers is not a moment of a teacher's life that she wants recorded for the world to see, especially when it involves dodging ankle crashes and rescuing wall smashers while pushing a rider in training on an adapted tricycle at full speed. Oh the glamour would be overwhelming and cause such weeping by jealous supermodels that it simply must remain a secret forever! It is fun, but there is no way to look anything but rediculous while dodging tricycles, rescuing stranded children who are flailing with no success trying to escape the clutches of a wall, and running circles around a hallway pushing a tricycle that looks like it could double as a torture device. But we had a good 20 minutes of fun, we worked on motor goals, and I got a free workout! Bonus points for that! I felt slightly like a NASCAR driver though only making left turns - next time we go right around the hall so I can unwind myself! And I need to invest in steel toed, high ankle boots... or learn to run faster.

A Victory Dance

Yesterday I had a home visit with my blue eyed boy and I decided to really put him to the test. He is our mystery child, our little one who presents with so many delays but all of the testing the doctors have conducted have revealed no answers. To anyone who first meets him, he would probably be considered to have severe disabilities limiting all areas incuding language comprehension and cognition. Yet more and more as I work with him I am seeing him make incredible progress and demonstrate that he comprehends almost everything that is said to him, and that he is learning preschool skills that are pretty age appropriate. So I took two of our color sorting boxes to his home visit yesterday. In each colored box are four items that are the same color of the box. With some positioning and assistance from his awesome mom with holiding the items against the lids of the boxes, we asked him the colors of each item using yes/no format. I was so careful to keep my tone of voice neutral so that it would not be a clue to him. The only prompt he received was that when asked "Is the (object) red?" his mother would hold up the red lid behind the object and when asked "Is the (object) yellow?" his mother would hold up the yellow lid behind the object. My blue eyed boy correctly identified 7 of the 8 items!!!!! I was amazed and stunned, and thrilled!!! We cheered, clapped, sang, and little boy blue earned a special treat. In my heart, I did the biggest victory dance! He is learning, he is aware of everything around him, he has greater comprehension than I would have imagined when I first met him a litle over a year ago and was told that he sat in a beanbag and that was about it. Now my challenge is to figure out a way to pull his comprehension out of him, to establish a communication system for a child who is nonverbal, who does not functionally use his hands, and for whom vision is unreliable. Time to get creative!!! Victory is so sweet and he has earned this one! He has earned a gold medal for this victory, for coming so far and defying expectation. I am just glad I got to come along for the ride!

What We Eat

Sitting around the lunch table yesterday with my little ones I could not help but laugh at the interesting lunches being enjoyed. First, I would like to point out that a preschool lunch is a full contact sporting event and that it is not for the brave of heart of queasy of stomach. It is never pretty and quite often what enters the mouth comes back out partially chewed after the child decides it is too hot, too cold, too big of a bite, or too yucky, or just funny to spit it back out. We are so classy! So yesterday the lunches caught my attention, probably because half of my class was absent due to illness (the only things we share willingly are germs) and I could actually sit for a moment with the kids and notice what they were eating. My little ones range from a child who is completely dependent on a g-tube to a child who wll eat anything that is pureed or soft (including spinach!) to children who bring the stereotypical American School-kid lunch (sandwich, juice, fruit, snack). What made me smile yesterday was the lunch of my new little one who seems to have autism. Her lunch consisted of choclate milk, pudding, a few slices of a mandarin orange, potato chips, and cheetos. It was the first lunch she really ate all week, other than the chips she filched from the other kids who did not want then when the school lunch had chips and salsa as a side. Somethings are worth fighting, and some are not fights to battle. Right now, I am more worried about finding functional langugage for her than I am worried about if she eats enough variety of food. I am more worried that she not continue to try to drink our paint like prechool shots or walk off the edge of the playground equipment as if she can levitate than I am that she eat vegetables. Really, I am not even concerned if she keeps her shoes on in the classroom because I have greater plans for her and if she wants to learn barefoot while eating potato chips and oranges I am willing to go along for that ride. But her lunch - it still makes me smile.

Welcome to Bedlam

I may not be a genius at classroom management, but I am able to have 9 three year olds, including 7 who have special needs, walk in a line down the hallway using a guide rope (ok, so two roll). I can have 8 of them sit at circle time for as long as I want to keep them there - 1 wanders away and 1 will wander but sits each time I request so he counts with the 8. I can have them all follow my directions to open the door to outside and sit on the stairs, within visual distance of the playground, until I have reached the bottom of the ramp and signal them to join me. So why oh why is my class a disaster of total chaos and destruction when I release them to center play? Because for center play I am not in control, that falls under the domain of my "assistant". I may end up getting myself fired before the school year is over. If there is one thing that tap dances on my nerves more than just about anything else on earth (besides the obvious ones of prejudice and discrimination and calling me honey/dear/sweetheart) it is complete incompetence. The assistant that the school in their infinite wisdom hired this year to work with two classes of preschoolers who have developmental delays and disabilities has apparently never before seen a child. She is not only lacking in the skills of an assistant - how to work with groups of children, how to do crowd control, how to engage children in play that is both fun and educational, how to redirect undesired behavior- but in basic survial skills. How many times does one need to be reminded not to leave a child unattended on a changing table? I mistakenly though that was a one shot lesson. And who on earth would put on gloves to change a diaper and then use those same gloved hands to touch a child's lunch? After I gagged I quickly removed that portion of the lunch for a better location - the trash can. Today one of my little ones was screaming for an extended period of time for an unknown reason, possibly because it was the child's third day of school and the room was in chaos and the child has no means of communicating anything to us. I found that after 45 minutes of screaming my assistant is ready to do anything to get rid of the child, includng insisting that a perfectly healthy child is sick and must be sent home. Um, anyone would be sweaty and red in the face after screaming for 45 minutes. Try it sometime and see for yourself. So I am beginning to wonder if children are just a little too complex for her and we need to back up and begin with something a little simpler. Perhaps we should start with a houseplant and work our way up. In all honesty I bite my tongue so many times a day and usually at least once a day something slides right on out that probably should not have because I am so frustrated. I want to be the absolute best teacher possible for my little ones and instead of having an assistant I feel like I have another child. At least I don't have to change her diaper. I guess I should be thankful for that! But otherwise, I am basically teaching 7 children with special needs and 2 (soon to be 3) inclusion peers solo. Welcome to Bedlam where we literally climb the walls!! Hell, soon I may surrender and join them as we climb the walls and paint the floor! Hee Hee, Haa Haa, Ho Ho, Hooo Hooo!

Rambling in the first real Autumn Evening

This morning was blessedly, wonderfully, amazingly cold!! I was able to wear my favorite black zip up sweater that should be retired to the donation bag but is much too cuddly and beloved to be surrendered. It is so comforting and warm and easy to wash (hey, that is a way to score huge bonus points with me) that I really don't care if it makes me look slightly like a disheveled bag lady. :) Yes, I am that pathetic. My wardrobe 98% of the time is blue jeans, a basic shirt (polo shirts are common or a "nice" t-shirt in warm weather and I love sweaters and long sleeve t-shirts in cold weather), and whatever shoes I can find in the closet that match. I am teaching children who leak, who like to decorate the teacher as much as the art project, who love to dig in the dirt and crawl on the floor and I don't want to have to worry about my clothing being damaged. I want to be able to be a hands-on, full contact, in the trenches teacher not a pretty-in-a-dress teacher who never plays with the kids because they might get messy. I have taught my kids that everything in my classroom is washable - the tables, the toys, the floor, the kids, and yes - the teacher. Have fun!! Learn, discover, make a mess!! Follow the rules, listen when I ask you to do something but let's have fun!! Shaving cream on the table is great and if you want to get it up to your armpits that is wonderful. Fingerpainting is messy but awesome - if you want to try it on my table or the chairs I am not going to yell but please do not paint your friends. Digging in dirt is fun but we never throw what we find at others. Lets see what we can learn from painting different surfaces - the textures, what colors we make, requesting, exploring, participation. What can we learn from shaving cream - sensory fun, communication, participation, shapes (drawn in the cream), parts of a face (same), so much more. If you are afraid of a mess, you miss so much. Now today when my blue eyed boy somehow overflowed his diaper and soaked both of us as we were swinging in the awesome fall weather that was not a fun mess. Thankfully we are both washable. He found it hilarious and laughed when I complained about being wet. Boys! I laughed when I had to send him home in girls pants because all he had at school were shorts and it was too cold for them. He thought about it and then laughed too. Thankfully, washable me also keeps a change of clothes at school. My little ones also had a great time today wearing monster masks (Roar!), singing 10 little monsters and waiting for me to "scare" them by roaring, and playing a game that I loved as a kid - Don't Break the Ice. I managed to keep the attention of 4 three year olds for 20 minutes and convince them to take turns and share materials with this game!! Awesome!!!!! That is like convincing four countries who are all at war with each other to cease fire, meet together, declare peace, and trade their best resources for a century. I will most definitely remember that this game is valued more than gold in our room and will be used during desperate times and when we are working on our attention spans and our sharing abilities. Right now we are working on our "Hands are not for hitting" abilities. I love that book. I also find it intersting that one of my kids completely gets time out and hates it while my peer model, my typical peer who is supposed to demonstrate proper behavior but ends up hitting the other child back, does not care a bit if I resort to time out. I am sounding like my mother too - "I know he hit you but you can not hit him back. Tell a big person that he hit you. Go play with a different toy. Tell him no. But do NOT hit him." Gee, that sounds familiar. She cursed me when she told me that some day I would understand everything she said - I so understand it and now i am saying it not to a child of mine but to ten children that are "mine". But my brother still has the real payback in my spitfire of a niece. Little Bit is paybacks for anything either one of us ever did as a child and more. She is 30 pounds of solid attitude. I miss my Little Bit. And now that I have written a completely free flowing, good luck trying to connect the dots entry I am going to go enjoy the first real autumn evening with a cup of hot tea, my favorite fuzzy blanket, and an old favorite book. Autumn is my favorite season.

Clue Jr.

Yesterday one of my typical peers, Goldilocks, decided out of nowhere to hit another child upside the head. I know this because he was screaming and pointing to her. She was sitting there trying very hard to look innocent, but when I asked her if she hit Devon she answered very matter of factly "yeah". I informed her that hitting was a bad choice and that hands are not for hitting. Because she made a bad choice she would have to sit in the thinking chair to think of a better choice (for most of the remainder of my class it is simply the time out chair). When she was sitting in her thinking chair we had the following conversation:

Me:"Goldilocks, why did you hit Devon?"
G: "With a duck."
Me: "But WHY did you hit him?"
G: "On the head"
Me: "But what made you hit Devon with the duck?"
G: "By the doll house."
Me: Goldilocks, we are not playing clue here! I know Goldilocks did it with the duck by the dollhouse. I need to know WHY you did it, what did he do that made you hit him?"
G: "I'm very sorry."
Me: I'm glad you are sorry but you still have two minutes in the chair to think about why it is a bad choice to hit friends. I want you to tell me a better choice."

Two minutes later
Me: "Goldilocks, you can get up now"
G: "Ohhhh. Okay."
Me:" What is a better choice than hitting a friend?"
G: "No duck."

Okay, so round one we played the strangest version of Clue Jr I have ever played. Round two, apparently if you are going to hit someone just remember "No Duck". I then walked over to the toy shelves so she could nt see me laughing. She is my dreamy, quirky, funny, sweet, clever child. And No duck!

Consider

Consider the fact that for three and a half hours a day I will have possession of your child. Consider that I will determine what they learn at school, what skills we focus on, what communication strategies we utelize, what materials they access, and what experiences they encounter. Consider that you have to trust me with your child for those three and a half hours with nothing more than my notes home to you and your non-verbal child to tell you how the day has gone. Consider the fact that there are eight children with special needs in my class competing for my attention and that I work extremely hard to make sure everyone's needs are met at all times. Consider that my telephone conversation with you, the child's parent, is taking place before I have even met the child and my brain is automatically forming opinions and conclusions based on our conversation whether I want it to or not because that is how we are hard wired as human beings. Consider the fact that I am going to be appearing in your home every other week for the remainder of the school year, either like a long lost friend or a thorn in your rear depending on how our relationship turns out. Consider all of this carefully before you start to insult me during our very first telephone conversation as I schedule a time to enroll your child in school. Consider that perhaps it might not be appropriate to question if I am "old enough to teach" or if I "will look older when we meet you" because those are not questions that are likely to win you a friend. Consider that informing me that I sound like I am fifteen on the telephone is not going to assist your cause any and might just cause you to sound like a creepy dirty man. Consider that no school district is going to hire "a teenager" to teach a class of beautiful, precious, adorable, and very intense children with special needs. Consider that in order to be a teacher you do indeed have to go to college ad have one of those nifty paper thingys they call a degree and yes, by gosh, I did get me one of them. Consider that it is also inappropriate and rude to ask me about my nationality, especially after I have just been interrogated about my age and education. Consider that perhaps, just perhaps, you could have waited until you saw me before deciding that I was "too young to be a teacher" and questioning me about it. Consider that now, I am leary of you and while I still look forward to teaching your child I dread having to deal with you in the future. Consider that you may have just earned your self the Creepy Parent of the Year award, and it is only October. Just Consider.

This Job, It Can Bite

Preschool kids look sweet and innocent. They are so cute that to anyone passing our mob in the hallway - because really, we are not likely going to achieve a line anytime soon - wants to sneak one into their classroom for a while. I agree that they are adorable, charming, engaging, precious, and the best part of my day but they are also far from the innocent little angels that many people want to make them out to be. We have our days when becoming a lion tamer at the circus seems like a safer and calmer job choice. My blue eyed boy started biting a few weeks ago and in spite of everything I had tried managed to take a front tooth sized piece out of me on Tuesday. He does make a very cute little vampire, but I prefer not to be his afternoon snack. So yesterday I worked with several wonderful experts to come up with a plan to avoid being taste tested and to reduce the biting. I still love him to pieces, as I love all my little ones, and I am sort of happy to see him doing this. He is tryng to express frustration at times by biting, which I hope to redirect to communication, and he is testing limits and being defiant at others which is nice to see in a child that many underestimate. The little vampire- he has attitude, he has spirit, he is a little bit punk and I love it. Just not so much when he shows it by chewing a hole into me. :)

Sweet Victory Lap

My blue eyed boy is the only student that I had last year who is also in my class this year. He is my "repeat offender". I adore all of my children and blue eyes is a terrific child to have as a repeat student. We recently changed which gait trainer he uses because the previous one needs to be converted to scrap metal and spare parts. The new one is an amazig upgrade, so much better, and because it is different it is like starting over again. So today I decided to run with the good mood he was in and into the gait trainer he went. Well by the time I have all of the straps in place the cutie looks a bit like Pinnochio before the strings are cut but he is standing very nicely. So then comes the time for my song and dance routine. Literally. In order to motivate him to take steps, and not scream like I am engaging in a secret ancient torture method, I jump around, clap my hands, cheer, dance, tickle, and sing. Yes, the other children back away slowly and give me the look that says perhaps they need to refer me for some services. But, today my little one with the blue eyes and stubborn temper took steps in the new gait trainer and laughed, smiled, and gave me his wicked sideways grin. So we took a well earned victory lap around the classroom with me as the clown leading the parade and sweet boy as the best, brightest attraction taking it step by step. Success one smile, one laugh, one step at a time. Sweet, sweet victory!!

Free Piggies

Toddler sandals are extremely aerodynamic and fly pleasingly when tossed from a school bus window traveling at 45 mph. Or so I have been told through a series of nods, gestures, and excited squeals by one of the little ones at school this week. The bus driver filled in the gaps as best she could and amongst us all we created an interesting picture. Little boy is picked up first on that bus route and has a decent bus ride to school, so he was nestled all snug in his seat when visions of flying sandals danced in his head. Visions soon blossomed into a full-fledged plan and the bustle of traffic lured him into action. He quickly escaped from his sandals, a skill he has possessed since last school year when I cursed those shoes under my breath and imagined every scenario of destruction but this one. Then with a sudden burst of dexterity he tossed them out the window behind him and set them free to find their own way in the world. He watched them soar and then contentedly wiggled his free piggies, no longer stuck inside of any form of shoe. Some time after their liberation the bus attendant realized that little boy's toes were not in shoes and asked him where he had put his sandals. With great pride he pointed out the window and began to laugh. Thus he arrived at school barefoot and quite proud of himself. We did not know whether to laugh or to scold him and secretly we were celebrating the demise of those wretched sandals. I can only imagine what the driver of the car behind the bus saw because little boy is so small you can not see him in the seat - all they would have seen is an "empty" bus driving down the road and then suddenly two tiny shoes flying out the window. The story they were able to tell that evening at dinner must have been unbelievable!! Poor little boy thought he was going to be able to be barefoot all day at school - surprise! I have quite the stockpile of spare clothing this year and it includes shoes. His free piggies were very quickly strapped back inside of a pair of shoes. However, I made sure that the shoes were taken back one he got on the bus to go home just in case the sound of traffic seduced him again on the way home and he just had to set his piggies free!

Fringe Benefits

There are the typical things that go along with being a teacher, both positive and negative, that I think anyone can readily imagine. The smiles and hugs, the crayon drawings, the not-always-happy parents, the paperwork. Then there are the unexpected fringe benefits, the things that they never tell you about in college and that you never imagine but that you discover in the course of teaching. I have written down some of the most unexpected fringe benefits and, well, let's just say that no matter what happens at the end of the day I laugh, I smile, and I love my job more than any other on earth.

* little handprints in fingerpaint on your pants
* a free food taster to check your lunch for any potential dangers
* a wealth of information on head lice, ring worm, thrush, pink eye, chicken pox, and other contageous yuckies
* the ability to get lost even after consulting mapquest, google maps, and the stack of maps on my bookshelf - and to laugh at myself as I make my tenth u-turn
* an appreciation of the amazing joy of tiny things - the beauty of a single leaf, the excitement of making a toy light up, the thrill of swinging, the freedom of dancing with your arms out wide
* a collection of kleenex in your pocket and the excitment of "the luck of the draw" as you reach in to discover which are used and which are clean
* the ability to change a diaper in under 30 seconds while wearing gloves
* the rush of seeing a child accomplish a skill for the very first time - this is better than anything on earth!
* a guaranteed good night sleep - this is a hidden cure for insomnia!
* a reason to dress up for halloween
* an opportunity to celebrate every holiday big time - we party all month long. :)
* no need to wonder where that bruise came from
* an excuse for the stains on my clothes at the end of the day (what? I didn't spill lunch on my own shirt! :oP )
* a chance to see real change in a little life

Please Tell Me They Didn't Let Her Procreate...

There is logic, there are job related skills, and then there is knowledge that is so fundamental and basic to species survival that one would think that anyone reaching adulthood with the capacity to hold down a job would possess it. This is the kind of knowledge that I tend to expect from those around me. I will roll my eyes at the lack of logic - you mean you didn't expect him to wipe the fingerpaint on your clothes? I will try my best to teach you job or context related skills if you stumble into my world and lack them. But if you are responsible for taking care of one of my little ones and you fail to possess that fundamental survival knowledge, please do not look at me in surprise when I am not quite so patient. For example, if you place a three year old on a changing table to change their diaper and then walk across the room to throw their diaper away LEAVING THEM on the changing table? I am going to react a bit. I might ask you what you are doing and before allowing you to answer prompt you to get back over by the child. I might even raise my voice as I try to emphatically tell you that you can not EVER leave a child alone on a changing table because children - they move...they wiggle...they fall...they smack their heads open on the floor...they need stiches and CT scans and Lord only knows what else. How does a seemingly functional adult not realize that leaving a wiggly kid on a high surface is a really bad idea? And please tell me she did not ever receive a child of her own to take home to test these theories on!

Breathe, Breathe

In just about two hours the bell at school will ring and hundreds of children will come pouring through the doors whether we are ready or not. I have a sinking feeling that I am going to be leaning more towards the "not" section of that last statement. There are still boxes in the classroom that I need to unpack or at leat shove somewhere this morning to give the illusion that we are organized and unpacked. There are no pictures on any of the bulletin boards, there is no picture schedule unless I find last years and fudge it with that one for the first few days, there are few pictre symbols, and I will be scrambling to label cubbies this morning. I am not yet familiar with the kids IEPs and will be doing good if I can keep their name's straight. Have I mentioned that I am a perfectionist and that I need to be in total control at all times? I have no words to explain how much this is bothering me, the lack of organization, the fact that so much is unfinished, and the fact that today is going to be so much more than organized chaos and there is not a single darn thing I can do about it. Perhaps if I had not had to unpack an entire classroom wile attending so many meetings while trying to orient the new afternoon teacher while working with an assistant who seems nice enough but most likely does not know on which end of a child to put a diaper let alone how to owkr with children who ahve special needs while trying to organize my files and information while trying to contact parents while schedling and doing home visits everything would have gotten done. This is just my second year ever teaching and last year, well that was trial by fire. Yet no one remembers this except me and now not only am I treading water alone I am supposed to teach everyone I work with how to swim. Has anyone seen my floaties? I am sure once I can fall into a routine and get organized I will feel much better but right now, when my little ones cry for their mommy this morning, inside I will be doing the same thing. :o) My goal for today is to breathe and to enjoy whatever happens and to get to know these beautiful, wonderful, one-of-a-kind children that have been entrusted to me. When I focus on them, the other stuff does not seem very important at all.

Suck It Up And Deal

Have you ever seen a dog that has been chasing its own tail around and around in a circle and suddenly discovers that it has managed to catch it? That look of confusion and shock and total bewilderment as to what has happened? And you know the dog is wondering how the heck it ended up with a nasty hunk of fur in its mouth when it was chasing this wonderful glimpse of utopia just a moment before. Right now I am spitting fur and turning slowly in circles trying to make sense of everything. This week has been the standard chaos of getting ready for the return of school, only with the added enjoyment of having to unpack an entire preschool classroom inbetween meetings and home visits and more meetings and calling parents and reviewing files and more meetings. Unpacking a standard elementary school classroom inolves probably a dozen boxes, a few tables, some files, and desks. Preschool, we are like your grandmother who comes to visit for a week but brings enough crap to stay until the end of the decade. We had literally over fifty boxes not to mention all of the equipment and oversized items that would nto fit into boxes. Imagine trying to keep up to 12 young preschoolers entertained for 4 hours a day five days a week for 9 months out of the year in a single room without television, without DVDs, and while instructing them in meeting a whole laundry list of goals. It takes a LOT of stuff. Our art supplies alone fill two cupboards and three drawers and we have more somewhere. I also had the pleasure of assembling several items, and let's just say that when they fall apart I pray no children are in the area. My building skills are relegated to towers of wooden blocks that teeter and fall when a child breathes on them. School starts Tuesday morning and our classroom is not ready. It will be in "fake it" ready mode by the time the bell rings, after I arrive at 6:30am and work my butt off, but it will not be anywhere near where it should be. At this point it is the best we can do and any complaints can be directed to anyone but me. I worked my butt off and endured two autonomic crashes to get the room even functional. Besides, the first week is chaos no matter how well you plan and how perfectly every toy is on every shelf and every picture on every wall. It is about getting to know the children, establishing a routine, and calming down the incredibly protective and concerned parents (I understand that they are giving me their children for 4 hours a day and I really am honored, I take my responsibility very seriously, and I will do almost anything to make the transition easier but hovering in the room the entire first week - so not helping here!). I do need to find or create our picture schedule as soon as possible and get some picture symbols out for children to use. Fine details, like labeling the centers and toy shelves, can be done during the first few weeks. I am working with a new teacher and a new assistant who have not done this before - I am only one woman! :) Besides, I really want to get to know my little ones more than I want to worry about having the pictures on the shelves or the schedule just right. I would rather establish a great relationship with them from the beginning than have an immaculate and exactly organized room. I can organize, label, and "pretty up" the room anytime but I can only form that inital bond with them once. I have a great group of kids this year and I am so excited. I do wish I had taken Spanish in school instead of German because I don't forsee needing to order a beer or a prostitute anytime soon (the extend of my German - bad teacher!) but I could really use the ability to talk with my little ones!
Along the lines of having to just suck it up and deal I finally made an appointment with a hem./onc. The first reason is because my current primary doctor is holding my rat poison (coumadin) hostage until I have a PT/INR done because I am slightly (two months) overdue. Details, details. It is just too inconvenient to drive 45 minutes each way for a fingerstick, especially when he can not get the blasted level stable anyway. This doctor is ten minutes way from where I live and hopefully can get things balanced. Second reason is the fact that no matter how hard I use my magical thinking I cannot make the lumps and bumps disappear. My ribs hurting is getting a little annoying when I am trying to work in the classroom and I need to know that it will not progress to the point where it makes it too hard to lift children. I also would really like an answer as to what these things are, but that might be like asking for the winning lotto ticket at this point. So as much as I want to just ignore them and pretend they are not there I need to address the issue. Summer break was nice but it is time to get back into life.

Magical Thinking

Yesterday I ate dinner at 8:30pm because I had been working at school all day and managed to trigger a decent autonomic crash by the afternoon. Normally that would have meant that the rest of the day was spent lying either in bed or on the couch semi-conscious but yesterday that was not an option. Instead I chugged an incredible amount of caffeine to try and force my blood pressure and heartrate back up towards normal, took a dose of pain medication to try to combat the incredible headache, and laid flat just long enough for everythng to balance again (i.e. vision to return to normal from headache, shaking to stop, headache to settle to a dull background noise). Then it was back to work. I love my job and would never want to do anything other than teach/work with children but this is a job that has no set hours and that you almost always bring home with you. I finally stopped working around 11:00 pm and crawled into bed. I was awake at 5:30 am. I predict that my body has at least one attempt at a temper tantrum today because against my will it demands a lot more sleep than it got last night. Today I will be prepared with caffeine and tylenol in my bag (tylenol is kind of a joke but I refuse to take anything stronger at work). This week before school starts is spent chasing yourself - a meetinghere and here and here, a parent visit there, an entire classroom to unpack, an assistant who has never worked with preschool before and has no idea what she is in for this year. I am really regreting the three years I wasted takig German in high school and wishing that I had been smart enough to realize that I would need Spanish a great deal more here in America than I would need to be able to order a beer an a prostitute in Berlin (my German teacher is a whole other long story).
So amidst all of this chaos I am working hard at the magical powers of my mind. As long as I do not accept that my body is revolting against me then there is nothing wrong. I do not have time to be sick, I do not have time to deal with these tumors growing, and therefore it is not occurring. As long as I believe that there is nothing wrong then there is nothing wrong. Sounds good to me. Besides, I have no idea how I could afford more doctors appointments and tests and medications. I am blessed to have decent insurance but the copays are breaking me. Teaching is one of the greatest professions with the greatest rewards, but they are never monitary. Maybe I will stick a toe back into reality once the school year has started. Once the kids are in class, the parents are comfortable with the class, and I have a schedule down. Maybe then I can add one more thing to my juggling routine. Until then I will practice the great powers of my mind...and maybe just a hint of denial?