But I can't Juggle...

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a new hematologist (also an oncologist). My first reason for going is that my current primary care doctor has been unable to control the rat poison levels for the Lupus Anticoagulant and I am getting tired of changing doses so often. I am also tired of having to drive so far for a finger stick, especially when the level is never right. When I moved here my level was stable and had not needed to be adjusted in 6 months - it has not been stable in over a year. So task one is to get the PT/INR under control so that it is safer and I can stop spending half of the time hiding bruises. The second reason for going is that no one seems able to explain these lumps that continue to make their presence known and I would like a final answer. I am hoping that it will be easy to determine that they are benign and they can be dealt with without any major difficulty. I just need concrete answers. Especially with the lump on my ribs now sticking out close to an inch when I take a deep breath in (when my ribs are most prominent) and my ribs are aching more and more often. I am feeling like a broken record here - and if I could not actually see these lumps I would question my sanity. I am hesitant to say too much about them tomorrow because with the scans not showing enough to be helpful I am unsure what he is going to think, but I need someone to be willing to help, to find an answer, and to not be quick to dismiss things. With my history I am often a doctor's worst nightmare - just taking a history takes forever. Ugh! Sometimes I wish that I could just deal with "normal" things for a while - but then I realize that this is normal for me. Normal is juggling what you have been given and praying that whatever you drop is going to bounce instead of explode. So I am tossing things up into the air like mad, trying to catch them as they fall, and desperately praying that whatever I miss bounces instead of exploding into chaos all around me. Sounds normal to me! With that in mind I am going to throw tomorrow's appointment up into the air and we shall see if I catch it, if it bounces, or if it explodes. If you happen to see me running, try to keep up!! :)